The Heart of it All
by youtuber411
Summary: The Throbbing Heart of Adommy Lambiff sequel!
1. Vacation

**Sequel alert! The Throbbing Heart of Adommy Lambiff II! I had written a series of stories, like, seven years ago, and re-reading them, a little copy-&-pasting, and BAM! new story :) Enjoy!**

**~BornWithGLITTEROnMyFace**

**Chapter One: Vacation**

**Tommy POV:**

He slept soundly on the hotel suites couch, one arm thrown above his head hanging limply over the armrest, the other resting on his thigh. His pouted lips opened slightly, begging to be kissed, his eyelids hiding sexy blue eyes. One leg lay bent against the back of the couch the other stretched out to the other side of it. He was dressed in a pair of sweat pants. His upper half bare. The TV was flashing bright, the sound turned down really low. Bending over slightly, I lifted the remote from the coffee table and turned off the television. I kissed him, sweetly.

"Adam." I whispered. "Adam, wake up."

It wasn't long before his pale lids rose to reveal sharp blue eyes. He blinked at me, his eyes filled with exhaustion.

He groaned and sat up a bit, "What's up, Kitty?" he said, wearily.

"You fell asleep on the couch." I said. "I thought you might feel better if you were in a bed."

He slowly began to sit up, nodding in agreement to me and stood up and hugged me. 'wow,' I thought, 'he must be tired!' Turning from me, he slowly walked to the hotel suite room. He was so exhausted from his performance today; the last on the Glam Nation Tour. He did more than just that performance though, after that he went to perform in a few other places; and even before that, he had been performing! And now the band was in Miami, enjoying a much needed vacation before heading home.

I usually would have pulled the covers over him but he was so tired, I thought I'd better not touch him. I slipped under the covers on my side of the hotel bed.

"You did good, Adam… you did really good…"

"""""""""

I awoke to find a strong arm around my waist. I smiled to myself as he kissed my cheek.

"Good morning, beautiful." he said kissing me again.

"Gmornin..." I replied sleepily.

He kissed me again and moved his lips down my neck.

"Not now... too... tired."

"Hey, your not the one who sang all those performances last night!"

"Yeah... but... I was on stage too... I had to do the bass..." I lifted my hand "So my fingers hurt..."

"Why are you so tired? Bass ain't that hard to do... you weren't strutin your stuff and singing your heart out.."

"Mmmmmm..."

"Ugh... lazy bastard…"

That did it. I sat up. "What?"

"See? Your up! Yay!" he hugged me.

"Ugh.." I plopped back down.

"Fine.. Ima go get some breakfast."

He left me alone in the dark room. I sighed to myself. I couldn't get any sleep last night. I don't know why exactly... I closed my eyes...

"""""""""

**Adam POV:**

I was talking and laughing with Monte and Isaac. Camila left to go for a swim, encouraging us to join when we finished breakfast.

"For you, Cammie, we will." was my reply.

"…so then he was all, 'Dude, who do you think you are?' you know, givin me some attitude, and I was like, 'I'm Monte Fucking Pittman!' and I swear to god, guys, he literally bowed down and frigging worshipped me! I'm not kidding!"

We all went into hysterics. I don't know, maybe it was the coffee…

Tommy came down the stairs, scratching at his hair, which stuck out in all directions, his sweat pants hanging loosely around his hips, his black wife beater clung to his tiny frame. He's so skinny… Lucky kid…

"Mornin ya'll."

"Hey, Glitters!" I greeted him, pulling down the hem of the wife beater, covering the skin that showed on his hips. "Get some breakfast." he sauntered away, sleepily.

"Alright, I'm gonna go get ready, come on, Isaac. Meet us at the pool, Adam." Monte said.

"'Kay." I watched as Tommy filled his plate with eggs, bacon, and bagels. I got up to pour him some decaf.

"Remind me to invent a breakfast taco." he mumbled, staring at his bland meal.

I laughed. "Well, hurry up and eat so we can go swimming!"

"Swimming? Really? Yes!" he wolfed down his food, quickly and guzzled his coffee. "Lets go, Babyboy!" he took my arm and dragged me to the elevator, jumping up and down impatiently. I laughed. He can be such a child sometimes… my child.

""""""""

The cold, blue water splattered all over me.

"Tommy!" I whined.

He popped up out of the water, smirking. "Come and get me, Babyboy." he winked. Challenge excepted. I jumped into the water; a perfect cannonball.

"I give you a ten!" I heard Monte call as I surfaced for air. Tommy squealed as I went under again, grabbing his ankles and yanking hard. I let go as his whole body became submerged. He re-surfaced right after I did, coughing and sputtering.

I waited for him to recover, then I placed my hand on top of his head.

"Adam, no, please!"

Too late. I pushed him down, submerging him again. He resurfaced and splashed me.

"Now we're even!" he screamed, laughing as I lifted his small body, bridal style. He was literally weightless under the water. I began a slow walk towards the deep end.

A couple, lounging on beach chairs stood and gathered their stuff. "Let's go, Laura, the faggots are invading!" they ran inside. I ignored them.

"Ok, ok, we're even." I kissed his cute little nose. He flipped himself right side up and wrapped his legs around my waist. He kissed me passionately, entwining his fingers in my wet hair. When the water reached my bare chest, he pulled away, eyes widened.

"Adam, it's getting really deep!"

"It's ok, Glitters… wait… are you _scared_?" I taunted, bobbing up and down, getting the water closer to his face.

His nails gripped my shoulders. "A-Adam, stop!" his eyes were wider than before, clearly scared.

"Tommy? Why are you so scared?"

"I-I'm not! I'm not scared, I'm not!"

But I could see past his lie. "Tommy, we've been together for two years, we've known each other for three, I've loved you, cried over you, lived with you, I think I know when your lying to me."

My little speech made him smile. "Well, I just don't like being… picked on. Yeah, I'm smaller than most people, sure, I'm an easy target, of course there are reasons to single me out, but I just _hate _it…" he snuggled closer to me.

"Reasons?"

"Well, yeah." I pressed him to go on. "I want to be more like you." he confessed, staring into the deep blue water.

"Me?" he nodded, cheeks on fire. "Please, Tommy… go on."

He sighed. "You're tall, and strong, and more… masculine. While I'm the alternative. I'm short, yeah, I admitted it, I'm not very strong, maybe I'll get a weight set sometime, I'm more feminine then most men, and I'm a faggot. The only thing missing is a big sign taped to my back saying 'kick me'."

My eyes widened at his little rant. "T-Tommy…" I searched for the right words. "Your not a faggot. You've just got a different outlook on things, that's all! And so what if you're a little smaller or more feminine, or weaker that other guys… I still love you, just the way you are. Don't change, Glitterbaby…" I pressed my forehead to his.

He batted his eyes at me. "Aww, really?" he giggled.

"Yeah… really." I smiled before dunking him again.

""""""""

**Tommy POV:**

"Hey, Tommy, want a waffle?"

"Uh… no thanks, Monte." I said, giving him a strange look before returning to the… 'conversation' I was having with Adam. We lay on our stomachs on the hotel bed, facing each other; arm wrestling and giggling.

"Promise me… promise me, promise me, _promise me _that you will never leave me!" he whispered, wrapping his pinky finger around mine.

I sighed. "Why do you think I'm gonna leave you?" I tried to pry my finger out of his, but he wouldn't let me.

"Promise?"

I sighed again. "Yeah, Adam, ok? I promise."

He grinned and kissed me. "Good! Now I'ma go talk a shower." he got up and ran to the bathroom.

"Tommy? You _sure _you don't want a waffle?"

"Eh… why not?" I shrugged and got off the bed while Monte stacked a few waffles on a plate and drowned them in syrup. We talked and laughed and ate. Before leaving, Monte served me three more waffles.

"Alright, I gotta go, Kid. Hey, eat those up!" and he walked out the door.

I dug in. Soon, Adam walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his torso. I didn't want to stare and make him uncomfortable, so I tried to concentrate on my waffles. But it was no use. He walked to the corner of the room and dropped his towel. I wasn't exactly looking at my waffles, and I accidentally dropped my fork. It clattered on the floor. He looked over at me and notice me staring and blushing. I ducked my head to pick up the fork. He laughed a little.

"Like what you see, Tommy?" I reluctantly look up.

I didn't answer him and got up to get another fork. He knew I was already embarrassed, so, why did he have to ask that?

After dressing, he came over to me and sat down. "Alright. Let's go."

"Where are we going?"

He smiled, mischievously. "The Spot."

"A gay bar? Really?"

"Oh, come on, Tommy! It'll be fun!"

I sighed. "Alright, fine. I'll go…"


	2. He Left Me

**Chapter Two: He Left Me**

**Tommy POV:**

I was singing along to Enter Sandman by Metallica (listening to the mix cd Adam made me for Christmas) head banging, making my hair fly everywhere, as Adam pulled into the Spot parking lot.

"It's just the beast under your bed. In your closet in your head. Exit light. Enter night. Grain of sand!" I sang\screamed at the top of my lungs. Adam turned the music down until it faded to silence.

"Tommy… I just want to thank you for coming. With me. Here. I know how much you hate gay bars, so I just want to thank you."

"Oh, Adam, you are so welcome! I'd do anything for you whether its gay bars or robbing a bank. I love you, Adam Lambert."

He smirked at me. "Rob a bank?"

"Don't make fun of me when I'm trying to be romantic!" I whined, stepping out of the silver Camaro.

He just laughed and took my hand, leading me into the bar.

The pumping music and strobe lights were intoxicating. The swaying bodies, smell of sex and alcohol, I hated it… but Adam seemed aroused with it all… and that bothered me… the doorway was crowded with people smoking, the purple looking smoke hazed around me, evilly. A guy from across the dance floor gave me an approving nod, causing me to cower closer to Adam's side. He stood for a few minutes, taking in the scene before him, while all I wanted to do was go home and cuddle, (yes, I'm a cuddler, now shush!) maybe watch a horror movie or two… but I sure as hell did _not _wanna be here…

A small group huddled around one corner of the bar, smoking a strange blue smoke out of a bong. The blue seemed to mesh with the gray smoke coming from the overhead smoke machines. Smoke, smoke, smoke. I hate it all… but I'm willing to try it for Adam. Yep… I love him. No doubt about it.

"Hey, come on." Adam screamed over the music and led me to the bar. "Get us two shots of tequila and three vodka."

"_Three _vodka? Who's joining us?"

"That's for me, baby." he winked. "It's gonna get rowdy tonight. I can't feel it in the air…" he said.

"I don't think that's rowdiness that's in the air." I muttered, eyeing the odd colored smoke.

He just laughed and clinked his shot glass with mine. "Let's drink!" and he downed the tequila. I, not in the mood to drink, just sipped my shot before setting it down. "You gonna drink that?" Adam gestured to my half-empty shot glass.

"I'm not really in the mood too-" he swiped it from the bar counter and downed it before I could utter another word. He polished off the other three vodka shots, then lit a cigarette.

A blond guy sauntered over. "Heya, you, uh… you Adam Lambert, correcto?"

Adam laughed. "Correcto!"

"Would the pretty man like a dance?" he asked, gesturing to the dance floor. "You don't mind, do you shorty?" he rubbed my head.

Adam giggled. (Yeah, ok? He giggles, now shut up!) "S-sure!" he said without a second thought.

"Well, then…" he took Adam's hand.

"But, I-"

"Maybe next time, kid." the guy winked at me.

"O-one dance?" Adam clasped his hands together and pleaded with me.

I sighed. "One dance." I agreed, knowing that _I_ wouldn't give him one.

Adam squealed with excitement and took off toward the throbbing dance floor.

"Not bad, kiddo." the guy said, leaning down and kissing me before laughing and running after Adam. Ugh! Violation…! Manipulation…! Fornication… ok, I couldn't help but think of that last word as I watched Adam, fore head against fore head, dance with this miserable excuse for a man.

I scoffed to myself as I was tapped from behind. "Hey," said the bartender. "That guy there bought you a drink." he informed me, handing me a margarita. I looked in the direction he was pointing and saw the guy who nodded at me when I walked in. Oh god. He's cute… he's really cute… he made his was over to me.

"Hey."

"Hey…" I replied, awkwardly.

"You're, uh… you're Tommy Ratliff, right?"

"Correcto." I replied… _what the hell, Tommy?_

"That's cool. My name is Blake." he removed his leather jacket and I couldn't help but gasp.

"You-… you like Metallica?" I asked, staring at his black, tight fitted Metallica t-shirt.

"Heck yeah I do! Wait… do you?"

"Yeah! I freaking love them! I love Enter Sandman! I listened to it on my way here actually!" I said, quickly, thankful to God that we had something to talk about.

"Well, I'm more of a Fade to Black guy, myself, but, hey, Sandman's a good one, I gotta say!" I was also glad that we were hitting it off.

"Yeah… so, uh… wanna dance?"

"Oh… oh, you think…? No, I'm not coming onto you at all…"

"Oh.." disappointment… resentment… abandonment, I eyed Adam again. One dance, my ass.

"No, no, no, I don't mean it like that! See, I'm straight."

"What? A straight man in a gay bar? Somethin ain't right."

He laughed. _Good_. "Well, I'm here because of my roommate. You see, he'll do a lot of crazy stuff, but he will _never _drink and drive. _Ever_! So I'm the chaperone, I guess… he drinks all he wants, and I sit here and bide my time until it's time to go."

Call me crazy, but it was comforting to know I was talking to a strait man… cause he won't want anything in return for the drink… comforting… reassuring… deserting… I looked to Adam again… _Tommy! Stop it! _"Well, drinking and driving is never good…" lame, I know… shut up.

He laughed. "No it is not!"

"Well… do you still wanna dance?"

He looked around the room. "Well… I do like this song." we laughed and made our way over to the dance floor.

_There's a place downtown where the freaks all come around, it's a hole in the wall, it's a dirty free-for-all._

The spotlights swirled around our feet as we danced. One thing I like about Blake, you can have fun with him without bringing sexual stuff in. I mean, sure, that stuff's… important, but… sometimes you need a break from it… especially if your dating a sex god. I looked over at Adam, again. He was getting dry humped from behind by that guy. His hands reached back, grabbing the guys hips, grinding his dick harder against his ass.

I sighed to myself. _Let it go, Tommy… just let it go…_

""""""""

"H-hey, Blake! Dr-drive me-e h-home." Blake's roommate interrupted.

"Oh, alright. Hey, Tommy, I gotta go… thanks for hangin out with me tonight, I had fun."

"Yeah, sure, anytime. And you have my number if you wanna hang out again."

"And we _will _hang out again! I like you, Tommy… I like you a lot." he hugged me… a friendly goodbye hug, ok? Shut up! He's straight!

I began to look for Adam. I haven't seen him for a little while… come to think of it… I haven't seen him all night! "Adam!" I called, merging into the pounding crowd. "Adam!" I searched _everywhere_! Where is he? "Adam!" my throat became hoarse and I was coughing and sputtering because of all the smoke. I had to get out.

I stumbled out the door like a drunk man, tripping on a man making out with his partner. Happy to be out of that awful place, I decided to call Adam. I'd left my phone in his car and he usually keeps it unlocked.

When I got to the parking place, I stifled a gasp. There, crammed into the small space, was a Ford pickup truck. What? I swear this is where Adam parked! I looked everywhere, but the silver Camaro was nowhere to be found…

""""""""

**No One POV:**

***Ring Ring!* **"Hello?"

"M-Monte? Pl-please help m-me!"

Monte frowned at his cell phone. "Tommy? Tommy, where are you?" must be a bad connection… Tommy doesn't cry! Tommy never cries!

"Th-the Sp-Spot!"

"What's wrong? Where's Adam?"

"_Please deposit thirty five cents to continue your call."_

"Tommy? Tommy! Tommy if you can hear me, I'm on my way!" he snapped his phone shut, cursing under his breath, and ran out of the hotel room and into the elevator.

"""""""""

**Tommy POV:**

"Monte! Monte! Damn it!" I slammed the phone back on it's cradle. Fuckin payphone. More tears stung my eyes. Are you kidding me? Stop crying, you big baby!

A red Sedan pulled up next to me.

"Get in."

"M-Monte!" I hopped in.

"Why are you crying?"

"A-Adam, help me, Monte, I don't know where he is!" I blubbered.

He took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes. "Did you check the private rooms in the back?"

"Y-yes! I l-looked everywhere, Monte! _Everywhere_!" I sniffed. "H-his car is gone! He l-left me, Monte… he left me!" and I burst into tears again.

"Now, now, Tommy, you're overreacting! He wouldn't just leave! You just didn't look hard enough."

"His car was p-parked there… right _there_, Monte!"

"Tommy… come on. Let's go back to the hotel, you can have a relaxing swim and get some sleep. I guarantee Adam will be back… he probably went to fill up on gas or something!"

I sighed and leaned back into the seat, crossing my arms. "A-alright." I said, quietly. "Take me back to the-the hotel…"

""""""""

"Monte! Stop the car!"

Monte slammed on his brakes. "What? What's wrong?" he asked, frantically.

"Th-that's Adam's c-car…"


	3. Get Outta Here, Tommy!

**In the last chapter, when Adam said, "I know how much you hate gay bars." I meant "I know how much you hate gay **_**clubs**_**." cause they're at a gay **_**club**_**, not a gay **_**bar**_**… just thought I'd clear that up.**

**~BornWithGLITTEROnMyFace**

**Chapter Three: Get Outta Here, Tommy!**

**Tommy POV:**

"What do you wanna do, Tommy?" Monte asked, eyeing the silver Camaro. It was parked, fail of a parking job, at a dingy apartment. The passenger door opened and the keys inside.

"I… I don't know…"

"Well, we've been sitting here for half an hour… you wanna go back to the hotel?"

"No… no, I'm gonna go check it out." I opened the car door.

"Uh… Tommy?" Monte asked after a few minutes.

"What?"

"You're, uh… you're still in my car."

"… Oh… sorry." I stepped out. My legs felt like jelly! I walked over to the Camaro, first. I closed the passenger door and slipped the keys in my pocket before finding my cell. Should I call Adam?

No.

I walked up the stairs to the upper half of the apartment complex. How will I find them? _Smooth move, Tommy… _I heard giggling. Adam. I could recognize his laugh anywhere. I began to run towards where the giggling was coming from… At the end of the hall, a door was opened, slightly. I cautiously sauntered over to it. Should I knock?

No.

I opened it all the way and peered inside. My eyes widened. There, on the bed, was Adam and that guy from the club! Adam wore nothing but a black leather collar, and was handcuffed to the bed post. He and the guy giggled as the guy attempted to give him a blow job. Both seemed to be drunk as hell, so it wasn't working very well.

I turned slowly, hoping I wasn't noticed. I reached for the door handle but…

"Tommy!"

I sighed and turned. "What?"

"Care to join us?" Adam asked, coolly as the guy giggled loudly.

"You're disgusting."

"If you're not here for sex, then leave."

"Adam… what-?"

"You heard me! Get outta here, Tommy."

Then I realized something… he's not drunk. "Adam-!"

"Get out!"

I ran out the door, obediently. My eyes stung again as I ran to Monte's car.

""""""""

**Adam POV:**

"Hey."

He turned to look at me… his eyes haunted by an eerie dead look. His brown eyes were black, bloodshot, and smeared with makeup. He'd been crying. A whole in my chest the size of Texas burned through my veins. I hurt him…

"Tommy, I-… are you ok?"

He just blinked at me. I could literally peer into his soul… those eyes belonged tattooed on his arm. Those hurt, betrayed, shamed, lost, dull, lifeless, sad, mournful, numb, dead eyes were enough to make me feel terrible…

"Tommy, please…" I climbed onto the bed, where he was curled up under a fleece blanket, and kneeled beside him. "Please, say something!"

He opened his mouth, then closed it and bit his tongue. He repeated this process a couple more times until he finally spoke. "I am sooo glad that the Glam Nation Tour is over." he stood, slowly, and sauntered over to the bathroom where he closed and locked the door.

I spied his suitcase, packed and ready, in the corner of the room. He's leaving? We have two weeks left! I heard the shower water running.

"""""""

**Tommy POV:**

I was just about to walk out the door when it slowly opened and Adam walked in. The smell of alcohol was heavy.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Get away from me… you're drunk…" I tried to push past him, but he was to strong. He grabbed my neck and slammed me against the wall.

"You said you'd never leave me! What are you doing Tommy… huh? What are you doing? You're leaving!"

"Adam, I-"

"I though you loved me! I thought… you…" he looked at my lips.

"Adam, no. Stop!"

He kissed me hard… probably bruising my lips permanently… I tried to push him off me, but I couldn't. He forced my mouth opened and slipped his tongue in, running it along the inside of my teeth. The taste of alcohol burned my mouth. He pulled away.

"If you leave me… I swear I will kill you."

Scared to death, the only thing I could think of _was_ leaving. He let me go and I grabbed my suit case and ran outside… leaving him alone in the hallway…

"""""""

"Aww! Bye, Tommy, dear!" Cam hugged me, again.

"Cammie, I'll see you again! I swear!" I laughed, then looked towards the closed hotel door. Just beyond that thin piece of wood was a lying, cheating, drunk monster. I shuttered, trying not to think about what had just happened in there…

She hugged me tightly, again. "Now, you can't forget to come to the band reunion diner in a couple months, ok?"

"I promise." Sure, I won't forget… but no promises that I'll show up, either…

"""""""

I shoved my iPod in my carryon bag in the overhead compartment of the plane, annoyed. _Why the heck are all my songs Adam Lambert? Ugh! _I slipped back into my seat and buckled my seat belt. Readjusting my hood and sunglasses, I sunk deeper into my seat, attempting to nap as I stared out at the blue sky and white fluffy clouds…

**Hey! Sorry for the short chapter… but another long one is coming soon! :)**

**~BornWithGLITTEROnMyFace**


	4. Hiatus

**Chapter Four: Hiatus**

**Tommy POV:**

**Two Months Later…**

_Well, that was an interesting year. No boyfriend, no job, a crappy place to live. Adam didn't kill me, we were just friends now… I'm sure it was awkward for everyone, not just us. I was living on Isaac's couch for a while, then I got a small one room apartment that I could barely pay for… my landlord was gonna kick me out in six days… but I'd have to worry about that later… for now, our whole group was going out to dinner at an expensive restaurant called La Norandie. I don't know how I'm gonna pay for that…_

"""""""

"Tommy Joe! I've missed you sooo much! Where do you live now?" Cammie was sitting next to me and squeezing my hand like I was gonna run away and she was holding me here.

I looked at Adam. I didn't want him to know. "I live close by…"

"Where?" Monte leaned forward, clearly interested…

I sighed. "The apartment complex on Mason St."

"That shitty place?"

"Yeah, Cam. I have no job, so I can't really afford much." I glanced at Adam again. I _really _didn't want him to know _that_…

Cam engaged Monte and Isaac in a conversation as I awkwardly caught Adam's eye.

"How are you, Tommy… really?" Adam reached across the table and gently touched my arm. He tilted his head down and looked up at me… What a jerk… he knew I loved that look… I pulled my arm away.

"I'm fine."

He dropped his gaze, probably sensing I was lying…

""""""""

The waiter came back with my credit card. "I'm sorry, sir, but your card is not working."

"Oh," I fished in my wallet. "Try this one." the waiter walked away, but returned shortly.

"I'm sorry, but this one won't work either…" ok, that worried me… I frantically searched my wallet again, but Adam pulled out a fifty.

"I got it." he stated, the waiter walked away before I could protest.

"Uh… Thanks…" I muttered awkwardly.

"No problem…"

"""""""

I actually did have a nice time… except for the immense awkwardness of catching Adam's eye more that once. Yes, I was staring… but only because he looked so different… his eyes looked tired and he had dark circles underneath from lack of sleep… he didn't bother to dye his hair again, so I could spot his natural red. He also didn't bother to put on eyeliner… which is the one thing he doesn't leave home without… He did a crappy job of shaving and even when he was talking and laughing with the others… I could still see the emptiness inside of him…he was skinnier too… he must have stopped eating… he'd barely touched his steak! I kept thinking 'Did _I_ do that?' These were the thoughts that crowded my mind as I walked home.

Yes, walked. I don't have a car anymore… I had to sell it.

A silver Camaro pulled up next to me.

"Need a ride home, kid?"

I looked into his blue eyes. Why is he doing this? What was he planning on doing? Maybe he _was _gonna kill me… I shook my head and kept walking. Adam wouldn't take no for an answer… he was gonna get me home somehow… the stubborn man parked his car and walked beside me. I sighed.

"What do you want?"

"I just… I wanna know if your ok… something's wrong… what is it? Come on Tommy… I can't spend all my time worrying about this!"

"Worrying? Don't. I'm fine."

He stopped grabbing both of my arms. His eyes burned into mine. "Tommy. What's. Wrong." my phone rang. He let go of me and I answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I'm in Adam's car, he was supposed to drop me off at home, then he saw you and told me to hop in the back… what's he doing, you ok?"

"I'm fine, I don't need a new refrigerator, thank you for asking, goodbye." I hung up. Why would Adam leave Isaac in his car? To follow me…? It was all just coming at me too fast… I was tired, and I had a headache… I couldn't handle this now…

"Could you just…" I walked away. He stood on the sidewalk alone… motionlessly watching me. I felt the familiar heaviness of his eyes on me. I started running…

""""""""

Finally, I was alone in my apartment… I had two messages on my home phone. I pressed the flashing red button.

"Hello, Mr. Ratliff. It's Bill, the landlord. The deadline for your check is in six days. Please don't forget." *click* Greeeeaaaat…

"Hello, is this Tommy Ratliff? This is Brad Bell, a friend of Adam's. Several months ago, I went to one of Adam's concert and I couldn't help but notice you're amazing bass skills! Adam tells me you're in a tight spot with finances right now, so I was wondering if you would want to play for me in a music video I'm doing for a sponsor? You'll get paid, of course. They gave me the music and asked if I could put together a small band. I looked at the parts and realized the bass part was perfect for you! Please call me back." I wrote down the number and called back.

I knew who Brad was. I'd seen his YouTube videos. He did sponsor videos now?

"Tommy! I was expecting your call! I want you to meet me at the studio on Tenth Avenue. I'll pay for your cab, sweety, so you don't need to worry about that… thank you sooo much, darling I love you, good bye." *click* I didn't even get a chance to say 'hello'.

""""""""

"Hello, Darling!" Brad hugged me. This was the first time I had ever seen him! I already knew he was gay, so his designer clothes didn't surprise me. A tall, dark figure stepped out from the corner.

"Tommy, hi."

I froze… shhhhhhhit! Adam stood next to me smiling warmly. I nodded uncomfortably to him, not wanting to talk to him…

"This way, Tommy. I want you to read the lyrics and tell me what you think!"

""""""""

So, why is Adam here? Well, I'll tell you. He's not here to play an instrument, sing, or act. No, he's here to watch. Yup. That's it. I know, right? That's ridiculous! He claimed to be here for Brad, but I knew the truth. I was accompanied by a keyboardist named Ben, who was also gay. So here we are, four gay men, making some music, singing, or watching.

Yay.

""""""""

"Alright, its time for a lunch break. Adam, dear, take Tommy out to lunch, will you?" he pushed Adam and me out the door.

"How about we go to Tony Roma's? I know you like that place…"

"Ok, you can stop…"

"Stop what?"

"Being… Y'know… being nice to me… I know you must hate me now… for, well, for leaving…"

He looked into my eyes and I leaned back against the wall, crossing my arms. "I don't… no I don't hate you… I don't hate you, no, I.. I don't blame you at all… I would leave you if you did that to me… I'd… well, I'd probably kill myself…"

I thought about that for a minute. "Are you telling me to kill myself?"

He looked into my eyes again. "If you killed yourself… I'd starve myself to death…" I leaned forward off the wall and walked away.

"That's funny… for a second there I actually believed you…"

He sighed and followed. Tony Roma's was across the street, no need to take a cab, but the walk seemed longer than it should have been. It was quiet… very quiet…

""""""""

"Tommy, its and emergency! Please could you come over right now and watch little Danny for a few hours?" Isaac's voice begged frantically into the phone.

"Danny, you're little cousin?"

"Yeah! Please?"

"Of course, I'll be right over."

"Great thanks, thank you sooo much! Oh, and please don't hate me!" before I could ask why, he hung up. I slipped out the door and headed over to his place. Thank god I live three blocks away.

"""""""

"Tommy's Heeeere!" little Danny ran over to me and hugged my legs. I lifted him off his feet.

"Hey buddie!" I held him upside down and he laughed… a cute, little, boyish giggle. I put him down on his feet.

"Uncle Adam, Uncle Adam, Tommy's here!" Danny went running down the hall.

Uncle Adam? Oh shit…

"Yes I see that! Hey Tommy… how are you?"

"Uh, I don't know…"

"Lets watch Blue's Clue's!" Danny grabbed my and Adam's hands and pulled us to the living room. "Make it work, Uncle Adam!" Adam turned the TV on.

"Well," I said standing. "I should go…"

"Don't leave, Tommy."

"Yeah! Don't leave Tommy!" I looked down into his little blue eyes. His tiny hand held onto mine for dear life. "Please stay?"

I sighed. "Anything for you…"

"Yay! Tommy's staying, Tommy's staying! Tommy, could you make me a milkshake?"

"Sure, kid."

I entered the kitchen, Adam on my heels. He watched my every move as I made Danny's favorite milkshake. He got real close to me and gently pushed me to the counter top. Lifting me and setting me on top, he kissed me. Yes, yes… I kissed him back… I know I shouldn't have… I didn't want to lead him on… but I missed this…

"Uncle Adam? Tommy?"

I pulled away quickly. "Um… hi hun, here's your milkshake." I hopped off the counter and handed him the cup.

"I will leave you two alone." he said puckering his lips and adding a cute little wave. When he was out of sight, I punched Adam in the arm.

"Are you nuts?"

"I'm sorry… I just-"

"No… don't ever do that again!" I brushed passed him.

"""""""""

It was eleven o'clock. Danny just went to bed. I went to the kitchen and sat on the counter. Adam walked in.

"I put the little man to bed."

"Good."

"At least you kissed me back…"

"I didn't kiss you back! I was… I… well, I was…"

He nodded. "Yeah, yeah…" we sat in silence for a few minutes. "Doesn't a little guy like Danny make you want one for yourself? I mean I don't know about you, but I-"

"You know what, Adam? I really don't wanna talk about this right now… especially not with you.. you have made this week as awkward as you can and I'm kinda tired of it! So could you just… stop popping up everywhere? Just… please?"

"I'm not trying to! You don't understand, I'm still in love with you! And I know you can't possibly still be in love with me…"

I raised my hand, like I was gonna slap him, and he flinched. But I wasn't gonna _slap_ him… I was gonna _show_ him… "You see this ring? You want the truth Adam? I'm still in love with you too…"

He stared at the promise ring on my finger and unconsciously touched his own. Then, he shrugged. "So where do we stand?"

"I don't know… I just don't know…" my phone rang. "Hello?"

"Hey, man, I'm picking you up, and were gonna go to the mall. Where are you?"

"Oh, hey, Blake. I'm at my friend Isaac's place." I gave him the address.

"Be ready!" he hung up.

"That was… that was Blake. He's picking me up. Were going to the mall."

"Why do you hang out with him? He's a stoner kid!"

"He's a great guy with an awesome personality! He's one of my friends!"

"Sounds like somebody's gotta crush." he teased.

"Ugh…"

"I'm just concerned is all…"

"Well, you should stop…"

"I don't want you to get pulled into drugs again, Tommy… and I want you to know, if you ever need a friend… if you ever wanna talk, call me… I'll be your friend…" he leaned forward and kissed me again. This time, I didn't kiss him back. Well… not at first…

"Really guys?" Danny popped up again.

"Danny, aren't you supposed to be in bed?" Adam asked, a little on the annoyed side.

"I was thirsty!" He complained. I got him some water, then sent him back to bed.

"Friends don't kiss each other, Adam… God, you didn't have to snap at him…"

"Well, you didn't have to snap at me!"

"I didn't!"

"Oh really? 'You know what, Adam? I really don't wanna talk about this right now… especially not with you.. you have made this week as awkward as you can and I'm kinda tired of it! So could you just… stop popping up everywhere? Just… please?'" he imitated me perfectly.

"I'm sorry…" I heard a car honking outside.

"Tommy!"

"That's Blake… gotta go…"

He grabbed my arm, stopping me. "Can we just… go out sometime? Please? There's this

little place… just, please?"

I sighed. "Adam I-"

*beep, beep!*

"Tommy!" Blake called again.

"I guess so…"

"Great… I'll pick you up at eight… Friday."

"Uh, yeah, sure." I grabbed my coat and walked out the front door.

""""""""

"Well, you seem quiet today!"

"What? Oh, sorry…"

"What's on your mind?"

I sighed. "Is it wrong, is it really, really wrong to go out with your ex boyfriend?"

"Well, I guess there's no rule against it…" he laughed. "Not able to take being single, I

see?" he adjusted the radio on the red G-6 he was driving.

"Well… I miss it… I miss waking up to the smell of bacon, Adam always knew how to make my eggs perfectly. I'd hear him humming and he would always greet me by saying: Good morning Glitterbaby… Chinese and Pizza… the way he smells… a hand to hold while watching scary movies… a strong arm around me in bed… I just… miss it all."

I explained to him what went on in Isaac's house. He listened and pulled into the parking lot of the mall. We didn't get out yet though…

"You know what you need?" he asked starting the car again.

"What?"

"Were going to the Hiatus Club…"


	5. New Beginning

**Chapter Five: New Beginning**

**Tommy POV:**

The music pounded in my ears. My favorite song was playing and I was sipping my Bloody Mary. My mouth was on fire. I loved that. Blake abandoned me to dance with this blonde girl. A hot guy caught my eye from across the club. He made his way over.

"Why hello there, I'm Jason."

"Tommy."

"Looking for a good time?"

I nodded.

"Well, you found me!"

I laughed. "Does that line really work?"

"Hey, I got you to laugh didn't I? That's step one!"

I laughed again, feeling a little drunk. "What's step two?"

"Get you to dance." he took my hand and lead me to the middle of the dance floor. We danced for about an hour. I was surprised when the dj played Fever, and I tipsily sang along. I got this strange feeling that I was being watched… I looked around. Yeah, people were watching, but I still felt… weird…

""""""""

I awoke in a dark room, under black sheets and a black feather comforter.

"Good morning, Glitterbaby…"

"Adam!" I sat up, fast, and got an instant headache. "What.. What happened?"

"You were at the Hiatus club. I…" he rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "I didn't exactly follow you…" I gave him a _look_. "Well, I knew you were going to the mall, but… I don't trust Blake, you know that, and I went to the mall, too… but on my way there, I saw his red car pass me, and I followed… I watched you, yeah… but for protection reasons only… and, God, I'm glad I did."

I leaned forward. "What happened?"

"Well, you had been drinking… and flirting, but you were drunk so-"

"I'm single. I can 'flirt' if I want to!"

He stared at me for a few minutes, deciding if he should say what he was thinking, or not… he didn't. "Anyway, you went with that guy and he took you to the back alley… well, long story short, he was gonna rape you…" we sat in silence for a few minutes.

"I suppose I should thank you for that…"

He kissed my head and placed the remote next to me. "Want something to eat?"

"Sure…" he left, only to return, shortly, with a bowl of soup.

"Are you up for a horror movie?"

He must have noticed how my eyes lit up, because he smiled and put the nearest film of gore into the DVD player.

"""""""

He walked me home that night, holding my hand. When we got to my apartment, the first thing I noticed was my stuff outside the door. Then I noticed Bill.

"Bill… what the hell?"

"Sorry, your out of here. I told you I'd need your check by today, but apparently, you're incapable of doing anything. Good bye."

"Hey! How much is his rent? I'll pay."

"You think I want him back here?"

"Come on, he's had a rough night." Adam said, quietly, hoping I wouldn't hear.

"Oh, what a pity… good bye, Thomas. Good bye, and good riddance!" he closed my old apartment door, locked it, then walked down the hall. I slid down the side of the wall, sitting on the floor.

"Can this day just… get any better?" I put my head in my hands.

"You could… come live with me again…" I looked up at him. "Tommy," he sat next to me and looked into my eyes. "I know you still love me… and you know I still love you… so, lets just start over… it's a new day… lets have a new beginning…"


End file.
